FAMILY PICTURES – Oates - CRITIQUE ........ DUE: Wednesday, Sept. 2nd
NOTE: Respond to our class blog by uploading your paragraph as a "comment" for this blog.
NOTE: Respond to our class blog by uploading your paragraph as a "comment" for this blog.
Writing Prompt:
In a topic-driven, well-developed, and tightly focused paragraph, offer a brief, limited literary critique of PART I: Family Pictures.
In a topic-driven, well-developed, and tightly focused paragraph, offer a brief, limited literary critique of PART I: Family Pictures.
Amanda McMahon
ReplyDeleteProfessor Kirk
ENGL
27 August 2015
Part 1: Family Pictures
A recurring idea throughout Joyce Carol Oates novel, We Were the Mulvaneys, is the assumption that "boys will be boys." This idea is introduced in the chapter entitled Boys Will Be Boys when someone in Marianne Mulvaney's class draws a penis on her desk when she returns to school after being raped. Before this point in the novel, however, the idea is alluded to when the narrator describes Michael Sr. and his "predatory" sexual escapades before he married Corrine (126). Michael Sr. also seems to rely on Corrine as an insurance policy because she "was morally superior to him, as a woman should be morally superior to any man; and that this fact would be of benefit to him one day" (129). Here Michael Sr. introduces the idea that though "boys will be boys," they may still need someone to guide them down a moral path. This idea is evident again as Marianne recalls her conversations with Zachary and feeling that "she alone, Marianne Mulvaney, younger than he, in all ways less experienced that he, had had the power nonetheless to bring him... to Jesus Christ, their Savior" (149). Corrine also acknowledges that her eldest son is extremely sexually active and that she is grateful that her two younger sons have yet to discover sex. Though the characters throughout the novel assume "boys will be boys" the leading female characters still feel a need to set them straight.
(3)
DeleteThe topic sentence is focused and related well to the paragraph, but I would have a better understanding in your purpose if you made the statement more specific. You could possibly add a very brief note about why the concept is important to the ideas you present, or you could use it to set up the ideas you plan to cover by tying them together in one thought.
3.
DeleteYour topic sentence is accurate and succinct. You could be a bit more precise about the meaning of "boys will be boys."
*3*
DeleteI like your topic sentence, but I feel like it doesn't say very much. It does explain what you talk about in the whole paragraph, which is good. It would be interesting if you took the last thought you had (about the leading female characters wanting to set the boys straight) and expounded upon that, maybe made it part of the topic sentence and then gave more on that within the paragraph itself. Maybe that could be an essay :)
3
DeleteYour topic sentence is good in that it relates to the entire paragraph. However, I agree with everyone else that the meaning of "boys will be boys" could have been explained a little bit more.
Your topic sentence is very precise and coherent with the body of your paragraph. However, I would have expanded the meaning of "boys will be boys" in the topic paragraph to give the reader more of an insight as to where you were taking them in the paragraph.
DeleteAshton Dickerson
ReplyDeleteProfessor Kirk
Engl 3353
27 August 2015
Everyone’s Family
Joyce Carol Oates uses irony in We Were The Mulvaneys to show how this family is seemingly perfect on the outside yet have a world of problems on the inside. She takes us on a journey to prove how perception can be very different than reality. From the very first page, Judd says “But I believe in uttering the truth, even if it hurts. Particularly if it hurts.” Judd wants everyone to know that their “storybook house” does not have storybook people living in it and the story he is about to tell relates to every family, not just his. He says on page 91, “In a family, what isn’t spoken is what you listen for. But the noise of a family is to drown it out.” Although the Mulvaneys are seemingly perfect, there are a lot of secrets within the storybook house’s walls just as there are in any other household. The irony here is simply in the fact that everyone looks up to this family and they play the part of being perfect when in reality they are far from it. Mike says on page 96, “It’s a funny thing, how you always know more than you say. I mean –a person does. What you say is always less than you know.” In addition, Corinne and Michael Mulvaney Sr. were fairly easy-going parents. However, with their freedom, the Mulvaney children found an enormous pressure to not tarnish the family name. It’s ironic that the more freedom someone is given, the more pressure they typically feel to not mess up. Oates’ brings an element of realism to the novel and helps bring it more into perspective by using the irony to relate the Mulvaneys to every family.
(3)
DeleteYour topic sentence briefly conveys the general point of what you covered in your paragraph, but I would have gotten a clearer picture of what you wanted to say if you had made it a bit more specific. You could say something about the specific case of irony you covered to tie in all of your points and give a larger picture of your thoughts.
3. Your topic sentence accurately portrays what your paragraph is about. Try to be more specific about "this family," "seemingly perfect," and "world of problems."
Delete3
DeleteYour topic sentence is well-written and relevant, but I think your second sentence is a bit more so than the first.
*3*
DeleteYour topic sentence is nicely done, but I think if you combined your first two sentences, it would help your reader get a better understanding of your paragraph. All in all, your topic sentence pertains to your paragraph as a whole, and you didn't deviate from it. Good job:)
Although your topic sentence accurately summarizes what your paragraph is about, it is a general statement. Including a statement about how they portray to be perfect and then backing it up with the examples given in the body of the paragraph would add more depth to your topic sentence.
DeleteSadie Wyant
ReplyDeleteProfessor Kirk
ENGL 3353
28 August 2015
Truth and Faith in Family Pictures
In part one of Joyce Carol Oates’ We Were the Mulvaneys, the narrator reveals different stories about his family. Part one is titled “Family Pictures,” which gives the idea of memories placed carefully on a wall. However, these stories are messy, not wall-worthy. Judd, the narrator, explains that he “will include as many ‘facts’ as I can assemble” (14). Along with the theme of truth in this first part of the novel comes the theme of faith. Faith is something that Corinne Mulvaney clings to. Marianne also turns to faith to help cope after being raped. In one passage describing Corinne’s fascination with faith, Judd describes “her occasional, always so-embarrassing talk of God. (‘God-gush,’ Patrick called it. But Corinne protested isn’t God all around us, isn’t God in us?” (28). Before being raped and becoming devout in her faith, Marianne is described as “one of the ‘good, Christian’ girls. Virgins of course. But virgins in their heads, too” (38). Overall, faith in the Mulvaney family is something that seems surface level, though it is spoken of almost all the time.
(2)
DeleteThough you have a very good paragraph overall, I did not find the same message from your topic sentence that I found when I finished reading the paragraph. Sometimes I write my topic sentence last to better incorporate my most important thoughts.
2. I can't actually tell what your encompassing topic is from any sentence in this paragraph.
DeleteYour overall paragraph is good in explaining some of the issues of the Mulvaney family, however the topic sentence does not correlate much with the content in the paragraph.
DeleteMikkaela Bailey
ReplyDeleteProfessor Kirk
ENGL 3353
28 August 2015
Family Pictures and Parents Who Take Them
Throughout the first section of Joyce Carol Oates’ novel, We Were The Mulvaneys, one of the dominant ironies is the concept of the “family code” which is nearly unspoken and rarely enforced actively by the parents, though it is clear that they expect it to be followed. The Mulvaneys are a family known for a relaxed approach to parenting yet simultaneously holding very high standards for the children (27, 64). These standards include the various elements of “the code.” “Many things were coded at High Point Farm. Like our names which could be confusing for the depended upon mood, circumstance, subtext” (43). They even had a special means of communicating difficult or harsh things to each other by speaking “through animals” (44). The family codes can be interpreted in a number of ways, though it seems that the codes often represent the standard of conduct and image to be maintained by the family. After one encounter (post-assault) Judd explains that the code was broken forever when Marianne spoke to their mother out of turn instead of following the family rules of communication through animals (47). The pressure of maintaining an image under extreme circumstances can drive people apart, especially if there is a lack of communication with a set of unspoken guidelines in its place. The standards set for the family became their undoing.
4. Great topic sentence. Maybe use different language to be a bit more concise, though.
Delete4.
DeleteYour topic sentence is very descriptive and summarizes the paragraph very well.
*3.5*
DeleteI like your topic sentence, and it is really good, but I'm going to be that person and say that I don't want to give it a 4. To me, although it is very well-written and explains exactly what you talk about in your paragraph, I feel like you could have made it more concise. I like all the eloquent words, but I think you could achieve the same level of emphasis by removing some of them. I really enjoyed your paragraph though :)
4. I really like your topic sentence. It is educated, and the examples used in your paragraph give your topic sentence an even greater value. However, I would have made it a bit more concise and clear by using simpler terms.
DeleteKaty Dyches
ReplyDeleteProfessor Kirk
Contemporary English Novel
2 September 2015
Family Pictures and Family Expectations
The first section of the novel We Were the Mulvaneys, by Joyce Carol Oates, entitled “Family Pictures,” is just that: a collection snapshot scenes and memories of the Mulvaney family. Not all of these snapshots are pretty: Judd seeing a doe hunted by a pack of dogs, Patrick being blinded in one eye by his spooked horse. One prevalent theme in "Family Pictures" is family expectations. All of the Mulvaney children strive to live up to their parents' expectations. One scene details a time when Corinne, née Hausmann, and her mother were lost in a blizzard and led to safety by fireflies. Corinne's children "one by one (except Marianne, of course: she always defended Mom) [all] came to wonder how accurate it was" (61). Marianne defends her mother because she, being the sweet, good girl, is expected to believe the story. Even after Marianne is raped, she does not speak out because her father expects each of them to "maintain [his or her] dignity" (65).
(3)
DeleteI see the topic addressed in a very good sentence in the paragraph, however, my own understanding of the assignment was that it should be there in the first sentence. If it was stated a but more frankly in the very beginning I think that it would better fit what I understood to be the assignment guidelines.
2. Your topic sentence is in the middle of your paragraph and you don't really get into the meat of what you're trying to say until then. Don't waste too much time summarizing because you could have a really strong paragraph without it.
Delete*2.5*
DeleteI like your paragraph, but your topic sentence seems to be in the middle. Now, I honestly don't see why this should be a problem, and I have done the same thing (give some background in the beginning then get into my topic) previously, but I do understand why we are "required" to make our topic sentence the first one. Though your summary is good, I think you could have put it further down in the paragraph, if at all.
I like the content of the paragraph. However, I do believe that your topic sentence should be included in the body of your paragraph, and that the sentence you used about the theme of "Family Pictures" should be used as a topic sentence, adding more depth and explanations.
DeleteKelsey Wheatle
ReplyDeleteProfessor Kirk
English 3353
2 September 2015
Part I: Family Pictures
"Family Pictures" is the first section of the novel, which gives the reader an insight of how prestigious the Mulvaney family appears to be. "Family Pictures" isn't merely photos of the family that are clipped to the refrigerator board, it gives us insight into the persona, and the expectation of the Mulvaney clan. Within their community, they are a highly respected and adored family, therefore they have great expectations that they have to live up to in order to be a respected family in their community and society. This family, especially Michael Mulvaney Sr., had power, and any threat to that power would damage their family. When the family found out about the rape of Marianne, things began to fall apart. Because Michael Mulvaney Sr. was not able to bring justice to his daughter and to his family, he viewed this inability as a threat to his power, to his monarchy, This caused things to go sour for him personally, and for his family. The family picture that the Mulvaney clan portray to the public is that of a powerhouse, who can seemingly have everything in the community that they desire. However, they are forced to conform to the community, and more importantly to the law, when Zachary Lundt gets away with raping Marianne. The loss of power for Michael Mulvaney caused him great trauma; so much that he could not bear the sight of Marianne, who reminded him of the power he had lost. In a conversation with his wife Corrine, Michael Mulvaney says, "I'm not strong enough, I'm a coward. How can I live knowing that! God help me. Corrine, I can't bear the sight of the girl any longer..... I wish to God I never had to lay eyes on her again,"(185). The reminder that he lost power because of Marianne bothered him so much that she was sent to live with a distant relative. His family picture, the family that he had been head of, was slowly becoming less powerful, less upstanding, and less respected.
(2)
DeleteI like the point you are trying to make, and I understand it, but your topic sentence could be a lot stronger if you related the particular instance you wanted to focus on to the topic at hand or why it is important that this is shown in the novel while tying it to your examples.
2. Your topic sentence only covers a small portion of what you stated in your paragraph. Your first sentence only talks about the Mulvaney family being prestigious, but the rest of your paragraph covers the downfall of the Mulvaneys, as well.
Delete2.
DeleteYour topic sentence is not directly related to the rest of your paragraph. You talk in the paragraph about the change in the Mulvaney family's status and how it affects Michael, Sr., but your topic sentence just says that the family appears to be prestigious.
*2.5*
DeleteYour paragraph as a whole is good, but your topic sentence doesn't really relate to it. Maybe writing your topic sentence after finishing the paragraph would help, that way you could make sure you identify what exactly it is you'll be talking about.
Family Oates:
ReplyDelete“Can’t trust them, can’t trust women he blamed them, the women, the most.” 126
As I read this particular passage, it occurred to me that Michael had a weird attitude towards women. We never really get a full in detail story behind Michaels attitude and why he has such a harsh one towards women. I think that Michael was secretly in love with his sister Marian, “who let him down”. I think because she did not come after him when their father kicked him out, made him realize that he couldn’t trust her. But why name your daughter, Marianne? If this hatred is so strong, then why name your child after the one person you hate?
I think Michael sexually abused his sister and had this love in his heart that he could not run from with her, and I think because of this abuse, he realized she didn’t love him back. But why his sister? Incest? Granted, Michael never cared much for the “God thing”, why fall in love with your sister? I believe this is why Michael doesn’t want to be part of the God stuff, I think he feels betrayed by God by letting him fall in love with his sister, and allow her not to feel any emotion back with her.
Your ideas and thoughts about why Michael has an attitude with females is mind-opening. However, because you don't have a topic sentence it is hard to follow your thoughts and understand the importance of your examples.
Delete(1)
DeletePer my understanding of the assignment guidelines, we are supposed to write a topic sentence-driven paragraph. My understanding of the topic sentence was that it is meant to summarize the central idea of your paragraph while introducing it. Because you used a quote and did not follow those guidelines, I chose to rate your paragraph a 1. However, your ideas are very interesting and thought-provoking.